TCI5 day 1

​Day 1

Lots in my mind:

• Testosterone bloodwork results came back and they are lowering significantly. Explains loss of energy and focus.  It’s getting bad enough I will want to address it before it gets so bad I won’t.  But I’m also expecting a lower (normal?) libido which is freeing in some ways but not me in others.  I have less energy and focus but I also have less distracting thoughts about sex.  It’s timely this is happening while I’m away for six weeks. I plan to meet with the doctor when I get back and see if he want to do hormone replacement therapy. But I also want to see what this is like over the next month and a half. 
  
• Last night the kids came over. We played “not strangers” and some of the answers (loneliness, etc) were hard to hear but I’m also greatful that their peer group seems to have picked up on it and they have built a supportive community independent of us
  
• I’m exhausted. I am struggling with minor insomnia and for the last 4 days I am waking up an hour earlier each day. I woke up at 2am and couldn’t go back to sleep. It’s making it hard to be present and enjoy the initial excitement of this trip. 
  

Today I’m just traveling. S and I got to enjoy sunset at the local beach. 

We all drove to town and watched some of carnival.  

Working on my plan for 2024 . and what I need to accomplish during TCI5