Day 16

 Today has been a good day so far. I woke up at sunrise and went for a short run. I then went to CrossFit for an hour. I was tired from the kite surfing and running the last few days, but luckily the workout was mostly upper body so I was able to do it. The stretching really felt good. I need to remember to do a light workout/stretch even on days I don’t really workout. I then went to the store to get a small blender to make protein shakes. Mid day I did the first of the death meditations. It was super creepy and I was tired. I would have fallen asleep if it were not so creepy. I will need to do it again when I’m more rested. I get the point of it (to really know, and not just understand that we are not our body). I’ve got a KiteSurfing lesson later this afternoon and plan to go to a bar to watch the Daytona500.  I’m started listening to the book “waking up” by Sam Harris. He is a rabid atheist, and this is his book about how to have an existential “faith” without religion and the benefits of such a belief system. I’m finding it helpful to understand the benefits of this way of thinking and how to explore it, independent of religion.  Of course this is really challenging for my mind as a lot of my existential thinking is tied up in how I was taught to think about spirituality.  

Last night I started watching the Julia Roberts movie “Leave the World Behind”. It is 2.5 hours long. I made it 1.5 hours into it. It is kinda creepy/suspenseful. I was too tired to stay up to finish it. I walked into the bathroom and could see a man starring in the window. It was really dark outside the house, but it was very clearly a dude looking right in the window, right at me. I ducked back into the bedroom.  I wasn’t sure if I should go back into the bathroom and confront him or walk around outside and case him off, or “call someone” (don’t have anybody local to call).  I decided to go back into the bathroom (after putting some clothes on).  He was still looking in the window. It took me a minute to recognize him. It was just my reflection. I didn’t recognize myself. My skin was super dark, my eyes were super tired/baggy and my hair hadn’t been washed in days and was all over the place.