day 6

​Spent most of the day doing kite surfing lessons. Best sunset of the week so far.  Spent some time trying to understand what it means to get older. My energy and libido seem to be changing (declining). I did a bit too much kite surfing.  I had to stop at hour 3.5 of two 2 hour lessons. My body and mind were fatigued.  I tried to push thru it and couldn’t. My libido has also been at or near zero all week (not typical). I had been experiencing this the last few months at home but had attributed it to just the depression of MN winter.  I do feel a lighter / happier spirit here in the sun than I do in MN. But the energy level is similar. I know it’s just the next phase of life … I think part of me is scared of it. So I’m trying to get past that so I can assess if I want to delay it with Hormone Replacement therapy.  I don’t want to decide on that until I’m sure the decision isn’t being made by fear.