Day 33

Instead of looking for others to make me happy, I am working to be that person for myself. But I'm still looking forward to getting home to Kim more than I am excited to be here. Paul Tillich said, “Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of man’s being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”  I have LOVED the 'solitude' of this trip. The yoga place has more of a 'family' vibe than the house I rented. Having my friends and family come to town was fun, but it broke the solitude and I really had to extend the trip to get close to the same level of introspection for self-growth I had last year. 

I finished the chapter on relationships. I would say 50% of the chapter is written for somebody early in their life who hasn't found a partner yet (dating advice). The other 50% was applicable ...  In every relationship, you have the opportunity to set the level of joy you expect and the level of pain you’ll accept.

 Someday I may write a book called “every organism needs an asshole - how to win at life from the poop shoot until you don’t like the smell anymore and decide to be the nutrition for a flower”

Chapter 1: I’ve been on vacation for over a month now and at least 3-4 times a week somebody asks me “what do you do for a living that lets you be here for so long”… I am good at skirting the question … but last night instead of the normal “so what do you do for a living” somebody caught me off guard and asked me “what I learned working”…  I gave an unfiltered answer: “Some people work to make other people money, while other people have people for that. It turns out we each get to choose which we want to be. Which are you?”

Neither answer is correct for everyone. Some people need stability and others are natural entrepreneurs.  The old me (in his 30s) would resonate with that being a complete thought. But it is only the start of the answer. Over the last month, I've seen a lot of hard-working Mexican people and a lot of entitled Cruise ship Americans yelling at them. Money and success don't drive happiness and wealth is almost always created on the backs of others' labor. The monk in his 40s values the workers and wants to ensure they are treated fairly and doesn’t take advantage of them. So I’m not a psychopath anymore … great. But the biggest change is that I also don’t value money or “stuff” the way I did in my 30s. My possessions are only mine temporarily. My time is what I value and I'm realizing I only have a limited amount of it left and as my body ages, the activities I can still do are more limited. I have to make the most of every moment. I will never be as young as I am today. I will work the minimum amount necessary to live the maximum amount possible. I am trying to stop focusing on just doing incredible things (Ironman, world-first XXX, youngest $1b CIO for a decade, millionaire), and also being incredible things (grateful, warm-hearted, physically and mentally fit)

Today I went bird watching... Why?  Because a person at the yoga place who loves birds really wanted to go and they wouldn't take her unless she had two people. I figured it would be a new experience and I may learn something. It was the least favorite thing I did on the island. Not so much because of the birds (that part was cool) but the guide was a hyper extrovert who talked non-stop about how bad tourists were and how the island is being destroyed by these bad people... for 5 hours straight. I used my breathing technique many times to just detach and enjoy the beauty of the island.