Day 29

Gratitude is when “you recognize that something is valuable to you, which has nothing to do with its monetary worth.”

1. Morning gratitude: Before getting up .. "pray" (not like church... just meditate) for 20 min on what I'm grateful for.
2. MEAL: Be grateful for the food.  1 in 9 people does not have enough to eat. 
3. Evening: GRATITUDE JOURNAL Every night, spend five minutes writing down things you are grateful for.

It is easy to see the wonderful things in my life like Kim, our financial security, our kids becoming adults... but I also miss so many things that I should be grateful for; I was born into privilege, I had loved ones invest more in me than I did in them, I have had opportunities to learn/grow that was enabled by others. I take so much for granted. I'm sitting on the back deck of the yoga retreat and can see some construction workers next door installing a second-floor concrete structure. Their gear and safety equipment is nowhere close to what we use at home. They are doing back-breaking work and seem to be happy.

 I've been doing gratitude meditations for about a week now... I think I get it... But every once and a while in Yoga or in one of the meditations the guide will say "find a time you were happy" or "what brings you joy".  I struggle with that.  As I mentioned earlier when I find something I am grateful for I can hold that gratitude but I also hold a fear that it will go away. This seems to prevent joy/happiness. I can't help but think of the abandonment by my parents because I didn't hold their religion in the same way they did has something to do with my fear of allowing gratitude to flow into joy/happiness. 

I went to the most touristy "beach club" (Chankanaab Beach Adventure Park). It is the only "beach club" run by the Government. It had everything you could want ;)  ... Recreation of Mayan Ruins, Sea Lion Show, I was even served a drink in a styrofoam cup with a plastic straw.  On the plus side, it was super clean and not crowded.