Day 31

Ahhh... Today was a good day, like the first real day of this trip. Yes, the day I realized that self-is-an-illusion was “enlightening”, and the day I spent trying to figure out if I should get on testosterone supplements when I get back was "helpful" (not really, as I haven't figured that out yet), and the days I've spent doing death meditations have been "interesting" (I'm much more comfortable with my own death)... but so far, this trip has been a 3 out of 10 on the personal growth scale. I never felt the vibe I normally get on these trips. I was starting to fear it was because of low testosterone and that I was just "more tired" than I used to be.

Today was different. I haven't meditated at all today (maybe I will before bedtime, but probably not... "Ballers" is calling). I think what has been missing is the counter-culture of America. The dirt road. Today, I got up early for my kite lesson (8:30 AM). It was OK. I had a few really solid runs towards the end. I then rented a mountain bike and went on a 1.5-hour adventure to the other side of the island where nobody is around. It was just wind, sand, and ocean. It was so nice to push my body hard and see what it could do while being a bit scary (literally nobody was there, and if I messed up, I was 100% on my own, and I didn't bring enough water/food, but I had music). I made it back, exhausted and full of excitement from my adventure. It took me 2-3 hours to cool down after 2 hours of kiting and 1.5 hours of riding in the heat of the day. I grabbed some beers and watched the sunset. I met a lady who lives on the island (Mylenne). She plays beach tennis and invited me to watch her this Saturday. She is a lesbian, and we spoke frankly about being gay in the USA, the Netherlands, and Aruba. It was super cool to hear her stories. After sunset, I went to a "Riki bar" (not sure that's how it's spelled). It's an Indian food bar. I met "Tia." He is from Guyana (which I learned is a country in South America). He told me, "White people are like ants; you all work too much and just follow your boss," and "I only have sex 2x per month... but we have rabbit-sex daily." I LOVED how he spoke candidly about "white people" ("it's dumb that you white people come down here on vacation to lay out in the sun to your skin fall off, like snakes"). It felt so freeing to have somebody talk about race/culture without the hang-ups we have in the USA.

I realized that Aruba is 150% the USA (literally, things here cost 150% of what they do in the USA). I've been here 4-5 weeks and have learned about as much about life as I learn in the USA (not much). Today, I traded in the car for a bike and spent time with two people from different cultures learning about how they see the world.

The answer is at the end of a dirt road.