Day 5-29

I want to clarify that my last post may have given the impression that I'm having a rough time due to the issues with my mom, but that couldn't be further from the truth. While it's sad to say goodbye, it's a relief to have her be the one to call it quits on our toxic relationship. Despite her mental health issues, she was not willing to respect the boundaries I needed for my own safety, and after decades of emotional abuse, I'm happy I stood up for myself.

Normally, on trips like this, I have moments of introspection and set goals for myself. I've done some of that, but this trip has been different in a profound way. I'm at peace. I actually love myself and am happy just being present and doing whatever. Don't get me wrong, I don't love being in the snow of MN, but my mental and physical health is strong enough that I could probably manage being a "zen Mo-fo" anywhere.

The biggest change for me has been daily meditation. I sometimes call it "prayer" depending on who I'm talking to, and while there might not be a huge difference between the two, I now see that meditation is about being present while prayer implies talking to something else (God). When done right, they are pretty much the same thing. I use the words interchangeably depending on who I'm talking to, but I realize that some people who "believe in prayer" might not understand what I mean by "meditation" and vice versa. After thinking about it, flexibility in the word choice best explains the experience I'm having, regardless of how people perceive it or what I am actually doing.

I've also spent a lot of time focusing on my fitness. I'm physically the fittest I've been in a long time, even surpassing my fitness level during the Ironman events (although back then, I had better cardio but couldn't touch my toes!).

I didn't have a reason to post this other than feeling obligated to do so since I enjoyed journaling on my previous trips and found it useful to look back on them during my in-between time.

My daily routine has been pretty consistent:

• Wake up at 6:30 AM and watch the sunrise.
• 7 AM: Jump in the ice bath.
• 8 AM: Attend the CrossFit Foundation Class.
• 9 AM: Attend the CrossFit Intermediate class.
• 10 AM: Meditate.
• 11 AM - 2 PM: Have lunch by the pool and do some work.
• 2 PM: Have a personal training session in the gym or a Muay Thai lesson.
• 3 PM - 5 PM: Take a nap or ride my scooter to the beach.
• 5 PM - 6 PM: Have dinner by the pool.
• 7 PM: Attend a Yin Yoga class.
• 8 PM: Get a massage in my room.
• 9 PM: Go to bed.

Today, I'm moving to a new resort since all the rooms here at the gym are full. While I still plan to do CrossFit and personal training most days, I also want to do more tourist activities. For example, there's a Motocross track on the island that I plan to visit.